Why would a Russian adoption agency allow a single mother from the U.S. adopt a child with severe?
psychological problems and then be shocked that she couldn’t handle it. Even under the best circumstances, it’s hard to raise a child, nevermind one with attachment disorder resulting from institutionalization. What are your thoughts?
http://abcnews.go.com/WN/anger-mom-adopted-boy-back-russia/story?id=10331728
You’re not the only one who noticed that Russia seems to be getting a free pass here.
They have an orphanage system that is very good at creating traumatized and mentally ill children (remember, this boy did say that he was abused at the orphanage he came from!) and ship them off to well meaning but ill-prepared adoptive parents in other countries. When those adoptions fail, (and a disproportaionate amount of adoptions from Russia *do* fail, as opposed to other international adoptive programs) they get to sit back and criticize the US.
I don’t think they’re "shocked", I think there’s a fair amount of political calculation that goes on. They certainly aren’t concerned about the thousands of children in Russian orphanages getting abused and neglected, but now that the international eye is on them, they’re outraged!
Don’t get me wrong. I think that the mother who put the child on the plane was dead wrong and I think it was criminal child abandonment. I also sympathize with people who have adopted seriously traumatized children and find themselves very much over their heads. There isn’t enough support out there for adoptive families. Adoptive parents "signed up for this", they aren’t supposed to need help because they are held to a higher standard. Adoptive parents are most often blamed when any adopted child has issues, even if they were not the cause. So, I can completely understand the feelings of desperation, even if I am condemning the action she took. Still, it never should have gotten that far in the first place.
But the way I see it, Russia is taking every ounce of political clout they can get over this incident. They’ll parade the boy around and praise how well he’s adjusted to his new Russian foster family. Even though they couldn’t find a Russian foster family *before* he was adopted by an American. Of course, if his mental health issues come up again with the Russian family, we’ll never hear about it.
Russia will do everything they can to avoid taking *any* responsibility for creating the environment that traumatized that boy because it’s more politically advantageous for them to blame the Americans. But they won’t stop international Adoptions because then they’d have to take a more serious look at their own institutionalization problems. Right now, they are destroying the children then leaving it to someone else to pick up the pieces.
Russia has severe alcohol problems the child had fetal alcohol syndrome. I do not know why they didnt tell her – the agency she went through said the child was healthy.
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apparently she knows nothing of the advice I give on Y!A parenting section. If only she had come on here for my parenting advice I could have easily adverted this whole situation for her.
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actually the agency told the woman about all his psychological problems and she was fine with them! they even called her up after he had lived with her for a few months and she said everything was going great and was thinking of adopting another child from them in the future! then she changed her mind and said she couldn’t handle it and skipped procedures and dumped him on a plane! and isn’t it odd that his cousin who was adopted by a relative of the woman is doing fine? she knew what she was getting into, if she couldn’t handle it she should have followed legal procedures instead of dumping a poor innocent child on a plane by himself and shipping him off across the world!
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Many ‘agencies’ do not care about the child or the adoptive parent. Adoption is a lucrative business. Many agencies dealing with domestic infant adoption and foreign infant adoptions, are nothing more than baby brokers. They will take anyone who has money. Foreign adoption especially is a shadier business than one would think. I’ve been a foster parent and have adopted through foster care, and it’s actually very surprising the number of children who end up in the system through foreign adoption. There’s often something with a foster or older adopted child called a honeymoon period, and by the time that ends and the parent is confronted with the reality of raising a child with severe issues, the adoption is either partly complete or fully complete, and the child is stuck in the country with a parent who doesn’t want them any more. Absolutely disgusting.
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Mom by birth, foster care and adoption.
You’re not the only one who noticed that Russia seems to be getting a free pass here.
They have an orphanage system that is very good at creating traumatized and mentally ill children (remember, this boy did say that he was abused at the orphanage he came from!) and ship them off to well meaning but ill-prepared adoptive parents in other countries. When those adoptions fail, (and a disproportaionate amount of adoptions from Russia *do* fail, as opposed to other international adoptive programs) they get to sit back and criticize the US.
I don’t think they’re "shocked", I think there’s a fair amount of political calculation that goes on. They certainly aren’t concerned about the thousands of children in Russian orphanages getting abused and neglected, but now that the international eye is on them, they’re outraged!
Don’t get me wrong. I think that the mother who put the child on the plane was dead wrong and I think it was criminal child abandonment. I also sympathize with people who have adopted seriously traumatized children and find themselves very much over their heads. There isn’t enough support out there for adoptive families. Adoptive parents "signed up for this", they aren’t supposed to need help because they are held to a higher standard. Adoptive parents are most often blamed when any adopted child has issues, even if they were not the cause. So, I can completely understand the feelings of desperation, even if I am condemning the action she took. Still, it never should have gotten that far in the first place.
But the way I see it, Russia is taking every ounce of political clout they can get over this incident. They’ll parade the boy around and praise how well he’s adjusted to his new Russian foster family. Even though they couldn’t find a Russian foster family *before* he was adopted by an American. Of course, if his mental health issues come up again with the Russian family, we’ll never hear about it.
Russia will do everything they can to avoid taking *any* responsibility for creating the environment that traumatized that boy because it’s more politically advantageous for them to blame the Americans. But they won’t stop international adoptions because then they’d have to take a more serious look at their own institutionalization problems. Right now, they are destroying the children then leaving it to someone else to pick up the pieces.
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Disgusted international adoptive parent.