Some friends have signed an agreement that the mother (both the mother & bf are early 20’s and not together) will be able to breast feed the baby one time before giving up the child. Then has visitation rights 4 times per year. I would think this is going to be traumatic all the way around. That is why I would like any experience to help me get off my worry about my friends.
Very heart warming input from all. I learned a ton and can now be very supportive without worry. Community will have to vote best answer. thks!!
Sylar, thx for sharing. I attended a seminar "Landmark Forum". A lady in the seminar completed her past as an adoptive child and by the end of the seminar was in contact with her bio father. Total transformation. fyi

In most states, open Adoption agreements aren’t enforceable by law. Your friends need to know that. Open agreements are honor-based and not all APs honor them.

We have a fully Open Adoption with our daughter’s natural mom and her family. We talk on the phone, e-mail, have a MySpace account and visit each other a few times each year.

It’s what my daughter has always known, so it’s not like the 800 lb. gorilla in the room. She doesn’t seem traumatized or confused by this. She’s ten now and she understands who her natural mother is and who her every day nagging mother is.

I don’t know how her natural mother feels deep down in her soul. (She’s shy and doesn’t talk about these things with me.) But I can tell you she beams when she sees her daughter, she posts loving messages on MySpace, and she and I get along great.

Open adoption is still relatively new and there isn’t a great quantity of research on it yet. But in my opinion, if all parties honor the agreement, everyone will benefit.