Differences between newborn/international adoption and foster care adoption?
Other than the loss of their biological families, is ir really fair to compare a domestic adoptee’s experience to that of an intl adoptee and a foster care adoptee? Are the issues that nb/intl adoptees deal with even relavent to a foster care adoptee and vice versa? (like fake birth certificates, not knowing their bio family)
Yep as Linny said every Adoption is different. Our daughter whom we adopted from Ethiopia when she was 9 has no hope of ever knowing her birth family… she was abandonned at a young age. She did lose her culture, language and identity when she came in our family, but Ethiopia did not mean much to her apart from streets and orphanage. That is part of the reason why we found it so important to value her new American identity when we got her.
No. Its not "fair" to compare anyone’s adoption experience to another’s. BUT- all adoptees face losses, whether they were adopted because the relinquishment was voluntary or involuntary.
Some foster care adoptees are apprehended at birth, so their losses are similar to that of a "traditional" newborn adoptee. Some foster care adoptees went through horrible abuse in their first family’s care, so of course, their losses and experiences are VERY different from "traditional" newborn adoptees.
Some international adoptees have no hope of EVER finding their first families. In addition to losing their first families, they lose their countries, their language and cultures.
Every adoption is different, and every adoptees experience is different…..but ALL adoptions begin with loss.
References :
being adopted and active in adoption reform
I totally agree with Linny G. – couldn’t have said it better myself
References :
Adoptive parent learning all I can about adoption and how it affects my child
Linny’s answer is brilliant! I just wanted to add that while comparing individual situations will always be "unfair" because there are no situations that are EXACTLY the same, the goal of every adoption should be, and that is to serve the CHILD.
References :
As Linny said, there is similiar losses faced by all, and these are common amongst all adoption types. Identity, perhaps culture, birth certificate etc. I can’t name them all because I don’t even know them all.
And in foster care adoption, (which is my area of knoweldge) yes everyone says "they are gaining a family" but understand they already had a family. Even if abused or neglected, it was family and they still suffered that loss.
Where the difference comes in is socialization, nurturing and life experience. Someone adopting older children from foster care HAVE to come with certain skills, or learn them pretty quick. These adoptions may involve immediate trauma, issues and fear, not ever trusting you.
Even tonight, we know why are son acts a certain way, because we know enough about his history and enough about survivors, but we would never ever say anything bad about his First mom. That woudl traumatize him more. This should be the same for all adoptions, although I hate the line "your mom gave you up to have a better life", because that is a line NOONE in foster adoption will say. The point and yes I know I am rambling, is that ALL adoptions will have to address the issue that this child has (NOT had) another mother out there, and have the duty to address that subject correctly because it seems wanting to know where you come from is something adoptees need, and thus makes it a commonaily.
Just my 55 Cents.
References :
adoptive mom through foster care
Yep as Linny said every adoption is different. Our daughter whom we adopted from Ethiopia when she was 9 has no hope of ever knowing her birth family… she was abandonned at a young age. She did lose her culture, language and identity when she came in our family, but Ethiopia did not mean much to her apart from streets and orphanage. That is part of the reason why we found it so important to value her new American identity when we got her.
References :