A friend and I can’t agree on this and can’t find the answers to these questions:

If you and your spouse are American and you move to Japan, how long do you have to live there to qualify for domestic adoption (meaning, from Japan)?

And if you *can* qualify after a set amount of time, can you move back to America with the kid?

My friend thinks that’s "cheating" and they wouldn’t let you do that because you’re ripping off the Adoption Agencies and their money.

Also, how do internationally open Adoptions work? My friend says they don’t, internat’l are always closed; I say that you could possibly have it be open meaning, say you’ve got a Japanese kid, you could take somewhat regular visits to Japan to stay with the birth parents or they come to you (like the same two times every year, the whole summer, vacations, etc).

Help would be much appreciated. Thankyou! :]]

Don’t know the laws governing adoption in Japan. But if you do adopt from there yes you can move back to the states. They can’t make you stay there. After you adopt the child is yours and you can live where ever you want

…about placing their child.

i often wonder, why many first parents choose open adoption. is it simply to "make sure the kid is being cared for well", "to have access to medical and family information", or are these arrangements an indication that many first parents are not cool with " conceiving, breeding, birthing and walking away?"

many young people have come to this board devastated because an adoptive parent closed an adoption for unknown or frivolous reasons. if the decision to place a child is indeed understood as "permanent" and that "one may never see this child again", why all the tears and disappointment?

do you believe Adoption agencies are being truly honestly about open adoption?

i’m just curious to know what first parents REALLY believe open adoption means when they chose it.
correction:

"do you believe Adoption Agencies are honest and transparent when counseling pregnant women– and their partners–about open adoption?"
"After a little over a year of online web chatting with web cams, the girls getting to know one another, they shut it all down and demanded that I never make reference to the girls being siblings…"

-yikes! you need to post this statement every time someone suggests OA to a scared young pregnant woman. there’s a special place in hell for aparents like these.

i’m so sorry…

I always hear people rant about "how great" Open Adoptions are to those considering placing their babies. "Oh, you’ll get to see your baby!" "Oh, you’ll know how good your baby is being taken care of!"

Of course, most of the praises come from people who have no clue.

It’s made to appear legally binding, like a visitation agreement, but the lawyer or agency fail to mention that the agreement is worth less than toilet paper. It’s all about whether or not the PAP’s truly plan to honor their promises or if they were just out to say what an expectant mother wants to hear in order to get their greedy paws on a baby.

Sure would like to know what me and my 5 yr old did to piss off my younger daughter’s adopters. After a little over a year of online web chatting with web cams, the girls getting to know one another, they shut it all down and demanded that I never make reference to the girls being siblings and they were only going to send pics and updates from there on out. Explain to a 5 yr old that her sissy’s mom and dad are insecure butt holes and that’s why they won’t let her talk with sissy.

Please name and adopt!!

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Technorati Tags: Adoption, Agency, mew, OneTrueMedia, open, tokyo

Still not sure if we want another 18 year commitment, I have 2 kids, ages 20 and 16, 2 stepchildren ages 6 and 10, and I have a grandchild age 1. When is the best time to contact an agency about an open Adoption.

id hold fire!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im currently expecting my 3rd child, at first i was so sure i didnt want it but also couldnt face abortion so was looking into perhaps having the baby adopted. I just didnt want to loose my life all over again, i lost all maternal instinct, completely went of kids and everytime something went wrong id blame the thing inside me!!
at the 12 week scan my partner looked in awe at the baby on the screen and i didnt feel even just a bit of love, at the 20 week scan i nearly fell asleep i just wasnt bothered and i didnt want the baby. tho at around 24 weeks watching the lil thing squirming round my tummy, getting used to its waking and sleeping patterns and worrying if i hadnt felt movement, i suddenely realised i wanted the baby and never ever would be without it now!! its part of me, i dont know if it was hormones or what but with that i suddenely got all cooey over babies again something i completely lost in the first months.
Please dont do anything until youve had a lot more time to get used to the baby being inside you, wait until you feel it moving, realise its patterns and find your protective hands clasp over your tum. The very last thing you want to do is commit to giving up that baby and feel forced to at the end with an awaiting family there to take it on.
If your feelings havent changed late into the pregnancy then contact them but please dont commit to anything now. i never thought id change my mind as im the least maternal person i know but id rather loose a limb than loose this baby inside of me now………………….good luck

children but they charge $40000 to do so?

It makes me furious! We are in the process of adopting our second child who is African American through an agency. Thank God the cost is reasonable and at the same time, they don’t charge less because the baby is African American.

However, I don’t understand how these agencies justify the cost if they are quote "desperate"!! They are advertising on the internet, saying they are desperate, but they will bankrupt people with their costs for adoption. We are in our 20’s, are debt free, and have a decent amount of retirement and savings for people our age, however, nobody in their twenties has $30000-$40000 to drop like that.

That is what I don’t get about Adoption agencies. If there is a legitimate need, then why do they charge so much?
FYI: I look at these websites sometimes because they will post a situation of a baby or toddler that has already been surrendered, otherwise, I think they are so scandalous!
Race is important because from the statistics I’ve read, 30% of babies put up for adoption are African American, and only 10% of couples interested in adoption are open to a baby who is African American. So, there is a need for couples open to adopting African American children. That’s why these agencies are supposedly desperate. I don’t agree with any adoption agency charging outlandish fees and I don’t agree with agencies charging less for African American children, but I don’t understand why they charge SO MUCH if they are "desperate"!

It doesn’t make sense at all. All children deserve to have parent(s) who love them and there shouldn’t be outrageous $ signs attached to them.

my nephew was given up for adoption and it is an Open Adoption therefore we can send things to them through the Adoption agency, and they email us pictures and updates about him (although they dont nessacarily have to)

i was wondering if your an adoptive parent would you ever let the child meet some of his birth family? or would you wait until he/she was 18 and let them do whatever?
what kind of conflict do you think would arise if i were to see my nephew?

What you’re describing is NOT an open adoption, or else you would already know your cousin.

It doesn’t sound any different than the CLOSED adoption I grew up in, which sucks. Sorry.

my nephew was given up for adoption and it is an Open Adoption therefore we can send things to them through the Adoption agency, and they email us pictures and updates about him (although they dont nessacarily have to)

i was wondering if your an adoptive parent would you ever let the child meet some of his birth family? or would you wait until he/she was 18 and let them do whatever?
what kind of conflict do you think would arise if i were to see my nephew?

What you’re describing is NOT an open adoption, or else you would already know your cousin.

It doesn’t sound any different than the CLOSED adoption I grew up in, which sucks. Sorry.

We need help finding the right adoption guidance. We are trying to research avenues to domestic Open Adoption. While we are able to readily find all of the facilitators and law centers with large advertising budgets we want to ensure that our potential birthparents are treated with respect and all promises made by the agency/facilitator/attorney to the potential birthparents are honored.

You’re looking for a place to adopt where there is no advertising is used (to supply you with a child) and relinquishing parents are "honored". I’d laugh if it weren’t so tragic and naive.

Adoption in N. America is a business. Big business. It’s no different than selling laundry soap or cars. People selling a product use any means necessary to get you to buy it and make you believe it’s needed. The only "problem" is that healthy infants (the kind you’re looking for, no doubt) are as rare as waterfront real estate–and you’ll pay a hefty premium, too.

If agencies and attorneys were concerned with "treat[ing] birthparents with respect", they’d help these people figure out a way to help them keep their own children instead of procuring them for your *needs*, and your $30K, of course.

The only children who actually need parents are those who have already lost them–kids in foster care. You would not be "helping" an infant by coaxing it away from it’s mother. There isn’t a child on the planet who wouldn’t rather be with his MOTHER as opposed to a replacement. Period.

Do a little reading:
http://www.nancyverrier.com/pos.php
http://www.adoptioncrossroads.org
http://www.amfor.net/
http://www.origins-usa.org
http://www.motherhelp.info/index.htm
http://www.babyscoopera.com
http://www.bastards.org/bq/babb2.html

Adoption studies:
http://crimemagazine.com/07/Adoptionforensics,0919-7.htm
http://darkwing.uoregon.edu/~adoption/topics/psychopathstudies.htm

Books:
The Primal Wound by Nancy Verrier
Lost and Found: the Adoption Experience AND
Journey of the Adopted Self: A Quest for Wholeness both by Betty Jean Lifton
The Adopted Break Silence by Jean Paton
The Girls Who Went Away by Ann Fessler
Adoption: Uncharted Waters,by David Kirschner
Being Adopted: The Lifelong Search for Self by David Brodzinsky

We need help finding the right adoption guidance. We are trying to research avenues to domestic Open Adoption. While we are able to readily find all of the facilitators and law centers with large advertising budgets we want to ensure that our potential birthparents are treated with respect and all promises made by the agency/facilitator/attorney to the potential birthparents are honored.

You’re looking for a place to adopt where there is no advertising is used (to supply you with a child) and relinquishing parents are "honored". I’d laugh if it weren’t so tragic and naive.

Adoption in N. America is a business. Big business. It’s no different than selling laundry soap or cars. People selling a product use any means necessary to get you to buy it and make you believe it’s needed. The only "problem" is that healthy infants (the kind you’re looking for, no doubt) are as rare as waterfront real estate–and you’ll pay a hefty premium, too.

If agencies and attorneys were concerned with "treat[ing] birthparents with respect", they’d help these people figure out a way to help them keep their own children instead of procuring them for your *needs*, and your $30K, of course.

The only children who actually need parents are those who have already lost them–kids in foster care. You would not be "helping" an infant by coaxing it away from it’s mother. There isn’t a child on the planet who wouldn’t rather be with his MOTHER as opposed to a replacement. Period.

Do a little reading:
http://www.nancyverrier.com/pos.php
http://www.Adoptioncrossroads.org
http://www.amfor.net/
http://www.origins-usa.org
http://www.motherhelp.info/index.htm
http://www.babyscoopera.com
http://www.bastards.org/bq/babb2.html

Adoption studies:
http://crimemagazine.com/07/adoptionforensics,0919-7.htm
http://darkwing.uoregon.edu/~adoption/topics/psychopathstudies.htm

Books:
The Primal Wound by Nancy Verrier
Lost and Found: the Adoption Experience AND
Journey of the Adopted Self: A Quest for Wholeness both by Betty Jean Lifton
The Adopted Break Silence by Jean Paton
The Girls Who Went Away by Ann Fessler
Adoption: Uncharted Waters,by David Kirschner
Being Adopted: The Lifelong Search for Self by David Brodzinsky

Well, today I have five girls who need new homes! Please adopt them!

One per person! I will gladly e-mail you the pics if you adopt!

I own nothing!

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Technorati Tags: Adoption, Agency, Cure, five, go, OneTrueMedia, Pretty, Ryoko, Ueda, Yes