Maybe it is because i was adopted from foster care and that is why i feel so strongly on this. It seems that some people only want babies and that is why some adopt from overseas. There are many children in the foster care system, that are longing for a permant home. would it be more work if a child came from foster care, over a infant? probably, yes because the foster care child may have issues to work thru, where a baby is a "blank slate" as people like to say. I just don’t get the menatliy that people would rather adopt infants instead of a child thru foster care. Don’t these children in the foster care system deserve good homes too? i’m just wondering?

All children deserve a loving and safe home. However, some families do worry about the "baggage" an older child may come with. It isn’t fair, but some families feel they are not equipped to handle the emotional or physical issues that come along with older children. Or perhaps they are afraid of situations where abusive first parents try to come back into the child’s life. I speak to this only because I know how hesitant we were to adopt a child with special needs when we first learned of him. However, it was the best decision we ever made to adopt our son. I still sometimes worry that I am a good mom or that we are handling our son’s special needs as well as someone else might be able to, but I realize now that every parent probably has the same concerns. Unfortunately though, many people who adopt worry that they cannot care for an older child as well as they may be able to care for a baby. Education is the key to helping families understand that ALL children of ALL ages, ALL races, and ALL needs, deserve loving and safe families.

I am looking into getting a pet, and I kind of want a dog, but I think a cat may better suit my life style. Unfortunately, my boyfriend has some cat allergies (watery eyes and sneezing after a short exposure) . I have heard Russian Blue cats are a low allergin breed, but I can’t spend 800 on a pure bread cat. Also, I like the idea of Adoption. So, if I adopt, the cat will most likely be one like this : http://www.petfinder.com/petnote/displaypet.cgi?petid=12565770

Do you think this cat will be terribly problematic for him? Do some people overcome their allergies after a long exposure to a cat? What do you think?

I hate to break the news here.. but there is no such animal as a hypoallergenic cat, actually. Since it is the cat’s saliva (from grooming) on the coat and the skin (dander) which causes the allergy, unless you have found a cat that does not groom itself; mission impossible. There are claims that Russian Blues and the Sphynx are hypoallergenic, but this has not actually been scientifically established. The Cornish and Devon Rex are considered safer as they both are lacking a layer of fur which is considered to be one of the culprits in allergies. I would not bet my bottom dollar on this though.

There was some scuttlebutt about a totally allergy free cat produced by Lifestyle pets, formerly the Allerca company, but recent information does not show any true positive data, and is a cat that one has to take out a loan to afford.

This being said, there are things that one can do to live with an allergy to felines. Frequent hand washing, vacuuming furniture, less contact with the cat itself, and avoiding touching the eyes and nose after exposure, all can help.

For more information about cat allergies and hope to cope with them, visit: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cat_allergy

Good luck to you. I know how difficult it is to have a feline allergy, but from my own experience treatment is possible and preventative measures can help a lot.

Troublesniffer
Owned by cats for over 40 years
Freelance writer/blogger for http://www.petside.com

…have made Adoption reform, or any other type of meaningful discussion next to impossible?

When someone can claim that a person has no business being a parent because they left their 2 year old child somewhere to go drink, and correlate that to the supposed benefits of private newborn adoption, maybe we are spinning our wheels. How can we change this?

I doubt it will change because infant adopters and hopefuls love to play the abuse card.

"What about all the kids burned with cigarettes and live without heat?!", they whine. Of course they personally have NO intention of adopting any of these children.

But they sure are handy to exploit when you need ‘em, however.

I’m planning to adopt my cousin’s daughter.
so she can immigrate to the US.

when she turns 18, can she apply immigration for her biological mother??

No. If you adopt her, she will no longer legally be related to her biological mother. And there is no way to sponsor non-family members. You can’t have your cake and eat it too. Immigration is no reason for Adoption. Just have your cousins wait in line like everyone else.

Hi

I want a good attachment Parenting book but there are so many to choose from.

Which one do you think is best?

Thanks
I know you can’t learn to be a good parent from a book but i just want to read a few books on different parental styles just in case. Thanks for you opinion anyway.

dr. sears’s The Baby Book.
it’s been my bible.

If it’s the county, can I go to the next county over, or does it have to be the one I reside in?

You must go through your own county to start the process. Once you are certified, you can apply for any child/children throughout your state and the nation. Often, with smaller areas, there are several counties that are coverend under the same branch. Also, while you can seek placements from outside of your jurisdiction, it is often more difficult to do, since many social workers are seeking to place their own children first and foremost. It is not impossible, but it is more difficult and will require you to be more proactive.

What does it involve and how "open" are things. Also, how binding are they?
Well Moose, I hope I never get as cynical as you are about these things.

Hi Randy,

Thank you for bringing this up. I often see misinformation posted in this section regarding what open adoption includes.

Open adoption has nothing to do with the adoptee having any legal rights to adoption and birth records upon adulthood. That is decided ONLY by the state laws regardless of what arrangements were made at the time of relinquishment or finalization of the adoption. Currently there are only 6 U.S. states that have equal rights for adult adoptees, and that is true whether or not adoptions are considered open or closed.

This means even if a person is involved in what was decided to be an open adoption, regardless of whether or not it is later honored, the adoptee is still treated as a closed adoption adoptee when it comes to rights under the law. If an Open Adoption adult adoptee requests their adoption records/original birth certificates, even with all 4 of their consenting parents present, the answer will still be the same as for closed adoption adoptees: "NO. The records are still permanently sealed by law." Everyone will be directed to get a court order to release records.

Many a mother has relinquished her child under the false premise that the child will later have access to their own records and information if open adoption is chosen. This is simply not the case. There are even AP’s who believe this to be true as well. It is purposely misleading to everyone that full disclosure of these facts is not the norm within the adoption industry. Very few expectant mothers would consider adoption if closed were the only option. Few would agree with open adoption if they knew what it really meant legally. By the time they realize what it really means, it’s usually too late.

Open adoption really refers to the informal agreements that are made between both sets of parents before the Adoption is finalized. They mean nothing legally. They may be honored, they may not be. It can range from simply having an expectant mother do the choosing of the adoptive family, to meeting each other, to pictures & letters, to having extended contact over the years. It could possibly give the adoptee a chance to have some sort of relationship with natural family members as they grow up. Again, none of this has any effect upon the adoptee’s legal rights, which are none when it comes to adoption. There is no legal recourse for the natural mother either if the APs decide to close an open adoption at some point after it’s been finalized. By the way, this is a very common practice.

Open adoption continues to be grossly misrepresented to the public and to the triad. To the APs who do honor the agreements made, thank you! You are doing the right thing. Thanks Randy, for the opportunity to clarify here.

julie j
reunited adoptee

Let us start by saying THANK YOU in advance for any and all support in any form for our family.

Harvey and I started dating almost 9 years ago! Wow, time flies when your in love and happy.

Harvey was previously married and has two wonderful girls, Ariel 16 and Sabrina 13, Harvey thought he was going to be married forever and his desicion was to not have more than his two girls. Harvey was pretty young when deciding this and it was a hard decision but it was his and he did indeed go under the knife and now cannot have any children. What Harvey did not expect was to no longer be married to his first wife and to get remarried.

Harvey and I were married almost 5 years ago and we do want a child. We would love to bring home a little one, boy/girl, doesnt matter as long as he or she is healthy! We have looked into every which way to get his surgery reversed, invitro etc. It really doesnt look like any of them are an option for us.

We started to look at Adoption, we had all the questions in our heads about what to do, how it would affect everyone etc. But, after researching and seeing how many children need a happy, healthy home to go to, it would be selfish of us not to go this way.

Thank you for reading a little peice of our history, there is so much more…..if you have any ?’s feel free to hit up our contact me page……….help us bring our little one home……..

Love and thanks,

Christen and Harvey Pond

Duration : 0:1:16

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When it comes to relationships, asking questions about what you want to know of your lover can turn into quite an awkward conversation if it isn’t brought up right and this is where eBooks make the excellent approach to finding out everything you want and need to know. Whether you are married or single and talking to someone of interest, “101 Questions to Ask Your Lover” is a must have to get all the gritty facts and information that can help you make a better decision on if a person is even worth your time or if your significant other has a secret bright side to themselves.

Having an eBook makes everything much less complicated, just think about what would happen if someone found out you were asking them personal questions that were in a book as opposed to just getting deep and wanting to know more about the person. They would think you are a complete fake, and that is never a good impression to put on anyone, even if it is your husband or wife. Christmas time is an excellent opportunity to surprise your friends and even family with an email that is attached with a copy of their favorite eBooks. Take advantage of this somewhat secretive, but very satisfying present and help your friends fulfill the desires that you once had but could never capitalize on.

Let us start by saying THANK YOU in advance for any and all support in any form for our family.

Harvey and I started dating almost 9 years ago! Wow, time flies when your in love and happy.

Harvey was previously married and has two wonderful girls, Ariel 16 and Sabrina 13, Harvey thought he was going to be married forever and his desicion was to not have more than his two girls. Harvey was pretty young when deciding this and it was a hard decision but it was his and he did indeed go under the knife and now cannot have any children. What Harvey did not expect was to no longer be married to his first wife and to get remarried.

Harvey and I were married almost 5 years ago and we do want a child. We would love to bring home a little one, boy/girl, doesnt matter as long as he or she is healthy! We have looked into every which way to get his surgery reversed, invitro etc. It really doesnt look like any of them are an option for us.

We started to look at Adoption, we had all the questions in our heads about what to do, how it would affect everyone etc. But, after researching and seeing how many children need a happy, healthy home to go to, it would be selfish of us not to go this way.

Thank you for reading a little peice of our history, there is so much more…..if you have any ?’s feel free to hit up our contact me page……….help us bring our little one home……..

Love and thanks,

Christen and Harvey Pond

Duration : 0:1:16

(more…)