…about placing their child.

i often wonder, why many first parents choose open adoption. is it simply to "make sure the kid is being cared for well", "to have access to medical and family information", or are these arrangements an indication that many first parents are not cool with " conceiving, breeding, birthing and walking away?"

many young people have come to this board devastated because an adoptive parent closed an adoption for unknown or frivolous reasons. if the decision to place a child is indeed understood as "permanent" and that "one may never see this child again", why all the tears and disappointment?

do you believe Adoption agencies are being truly honestly about open adoption?

i’m just curious to know what first parents REALLY believe open adoption means when they chose it.
correction:

"do you believe Adoption Agencies are honest and transparent when counseling pregnant women– and their partners–about open adoption?"
"After a little over a year of online web chatting with web cams, the girls getting to know one another, they shut it all down and demanded that I never make reference to the girls being siblings…"

-yikes! you need to post this statement every time someone suggests OA to a scared young pregnant woman. there’s a special place in hell for aparents like these.

i’m so sorry…

I always hear people rant about "how great" Open Adoptions are to those considering placing their babies. "Oh, you’ll get to see your baby!" "Oh, you’ll know how good your baby is being taken care of!"

Of course, most of the praises come from people who have no clue.

It’s made to appear legally binding, like a visitation agreement, but the lawyer or agency fail to mention that the agreement is worth less than toilet paper. It’s all about whether or not the PAP’s truly plan to honor their promises or if they were just out to say what an expectant mother wants to hear in order to get their greedy paws on a baby.

Sure would like to know what me and my 5 yr old did to piss off my younger daughter’s adopters. After a little over a year of online web chatting with web cams, the girls getting to know one another, they shut it all down and demanded that I never make reference to the girls being siblings and they were only going to send pics and updates from there on out. Explain to a 5 yr old that her sissy’s mom and dad are insecure butt holes and that’s why they won’t let her talk with sissy.

If adoption agencies were all closed TODAY, how do you think that would affect the Adoption process as it stands currently?

If there was no one proffiting upon adoption, like Heather said, adoption would simply be a social service for children with no families.

I also think if there were no Adoption Agencies in place there might be more focus on WHY children get placed for adoption in a lot of the foreign countries where there is heavy IA. In order to really make a difference and change things for the kids we have to take a good hard look at the WHYs of the situation and fix those things. Maybe more women and children geared social welfare programs in these countries, work on lessening the social stigma attached to single parenthood, and better sex ed/easier access to birth control.

In order to really affect the system you have to look at the WHY and keep women from having to come to a place where they have to make that decision not to parent.

I am searching for the name of a Catholic hospital in Akron Ohio. Im not sure if it is still a running hospital or not, and it may have also been the site of a Home for Unwed Mothers, or the home was somewhere nearby. It was in 1971 when my friend gave birth to a daughter there on March 1st. Her given name at birth was Stephanie but could have been changed after the Adoption. She had/has red hair. Anyone with information about her or the hospital – it would be much appreciated.

Best of luck in your search…There is actually a website that charges $40 that will do the research for you

i adopted my daughter as a single person threw foster care when she was 2, shes now 11. Now im just thinking about( haven’t decided yet ) about an international Adoption this time around. It’s pretty much the same process right?

It actually is a pretty different process. You still have a homestudy and adoptive parenting issues, but that is about the extent of the similarity.

The biggest difference from an adopting parent’s perspective is that international adoption is a lot more expensive and complicated. Twenty thousand is about the minimum amount when you get done with everything, and there is a lot of immigration service paperwork to do. Many countries do not let single people adopt. And in some countries there are ethical issues around why the childlren are available for adoption. And many countries are closing or curtailing International Adoptions, so it usually takes a long time and you often have to spend a long time in the country (unless you are Angelina Jolie), so that could be rough on you and the daughter you have now (though it is possible it could be a wonderful cultural education for her also).

And most of the time international adoption means transracial adoption, and that can mean a lot of issues for the child and is not to be entered into lightly. Even without race issues, the child loses not only their first family, but their language and their culture.

If you have adopted through foster care before, you know the process there. That has issues and complications, too, of course, but you know those better than I, so I won’t presume to educate you. If you are considering something else, there’s probably a reason, but it would seem that would be the simplest (and certainly the cheapest) way to go. And children in foster care do need homes.

Good luck whatever you decide.

EDIT: Oh, whatever.
I didn’t say no countries allow single women to adopt, just that many don’t. And obviously her local fost/adopt system does allow single people to adopt (I think maybe they all do, but I don’t know that for sure). She was asking if the process was the same, and I was pointing out differences.
And while children adopted internationally to the USA are classified as orphans (otherwise they would not be automatically considered US citizens), in many countries they do have at least one living parent, often 2. In Guatemala the mother is almost always living and adopting families often get to meet her and maintain contact (which is great for the child, IF they are going to be adopted). In China there is every reason to believe the parents are probably both alive. And I believe that in Russia and Eastern Europe also, while alcoholism is an awful scourge (when I was a Russian major living in Russia in the 80s, I saw people queuing up to buy perfume to drink! shudder), most children have at least one living parent (most women do not die in childbirth, that is really very sad. your poor daughter, Noodlesmycat. truly, I mean that).

Look, I’m not saying don’t adopt internationally. That is what I did, and I’m very happy, and have every hope my daughter will be happy as well. But she will face big issues of loss of her first family and native culture and language (I hope to have her learn Mandarin, but that was not the language spoken where she was from). Those are huge issues for many adoptees. But then again, not so much for others that I know. But still, it truly isn’t something to enter into lightly — I know, because I thought about it a lot and in retrospect it still wasn’t enough.

I do think fost adopt is probably an easier process (not necessarily easier Parenting), all things considered, but like I said, if you are considering something else, I’m sure there is a reason.

Hi, I’m a 17 old senior high school student in Canada, and I was wondering what job positions there are in pregnancy and adoption services? What education and experience do I need to obtain one of these positions in the future?

I have assisted in the Adoption of my brother, and well as assisted friends through their adoption. I would love to continue being able to help people through things like this, but on a more professional level.

Thanks

Maybe you should look into becoming a social worker. Potential college majors include social work, elementary education and child development. Not sure about Canada, in the US a social worker almost certainly needs a Master’s Degree.

My ex husband has gone over a year with out seeing his children. He made two payment in 2008(both because the AG’s office found where he was working and garnished his wages for it.) He has shown a pattern for the last 5 years of showing up and then not. My husband would love to adopt the children; has anyone else been through this in TX?

Involuntary is a bit more expensive and hard to do. Also, remember that adoption and termination of rights are two separate legal processes. However, some attorneys will do both for you.

First, find a good attorney specializing in family law and make sure you get references, look at online reviews, etc. Generally you want to stick with a private practice as opposed to a firm, because you know only one person is assigned to your case. This can take longer, but it’s less of a headache than people dropping the ball on your case because it bounces around the firm.

Basically the angle you want to work is the child support arrears debt will be cancelled if he signs the papers voluntarily. This is very common and I’ve seen it done. He’ll still owe the state for any welfare backpay or court costs, but all debt to you is forgiven. Since he doesn’t pay anyway, you won’t miss it and it’s win-win for everyone.

Then there’s the Adoption process, which is relatively simple, especially if done by the same attorney. For some fees & signatures and a little ceremony before a judge, your husband can be your kids’ father.

It costs in the neighborhood of $2500 for a single uncontested signoff/adoption, but I have no idea how much it is for multiple children. But, it’s well worth it once you can toss the worthless scumbag out of your lives forever.

Why is it that most but not all American man who are good fathers can come up with a parenting plan with out going to court with most foreign nationals, and most naturalized US citizens in the United States? Why can’t most American man who are good fathers can’t do this with most US born American woman in the United States. Why do most American woman only want 18 years of court order child support from the man, that is the only thing they want from him.

The burden of tax on CS is on the paayer – Alimony tax burden is on the payee.

Parenting plans are basically useless after a child turns 12 — no one can force a child at that point to be with one parent or another… even sooner in some or most cases. It just adds to needlessly high legal bills, and is generally un-enforcable without a bucket load of legal-bills money (which I didn’t have)…. It also assumes the STBX is *willing* to work eith the other parent on a plan — which my psychotic ex was definitely not willing to work on anything.

There is no restrictions on what the mother does with CS either — I hated spending thousands on CS while she remodeled the house (that I paid for) and I ended up buying clothes for my kids.

Oh well — water under the bridge.

I don’t believe there is any difference between a naturalized citizen and a born-citizen in the US- so I don’t understand what that part of your question is.

My husband and I would like to adopt but he is 33 years old and he is 33. I read on a Christian Adoption website that adoptive parents need to be 25 or older.

Contact an adoption agency in your area. They can provide you with any limitations and get you started in the Adoption process. My friend is waiting for a child, but she is over 25 and I never really got into the details of the regulations(we live in Indiana by the way).

I live in PA, and the child adoption laws are pretty loose, too much time for the birth parents to come back and take their child back. So I want to adopt from a state with stricter laws, has anyone done this? Any agency reccommendations? (Infant Adoption) we suffer from infertility and want to adopt, but we have no idea where to start! Any help appreciated!

Good for you! I would love to adopt as well since I’m unable to bear. While I would be thrilled and completed by a child of any age, it’s certainly a personal choice. Please don’t give a second thought to the responder who gave you a ration of crap about length of time. I completely understand. I wouldn’t want to be so emotionally invested only to have the child taken from me either. Adoptive parents are still parents and deserve kudos for filling a very important need in the lives of the children they love and raise when the birth parents cannot, for whatever reason(s). I wish people would stop viewing adoptive parents like temporary employees.

Are there any organizations that would help with the costs of foreign adoptions?

I already have two biological children and I have considered just using a sperm bank and having another biological child but I feel drawn to adopting a foreign baby.

First of all, it is very, very common in Russia and especially Romania to keep their orphans in large orphanages and emotionally neglect them. Reactive Attachment Disorder and Fetal Alcohol Syndrome are very, very common, but not diagnosed. Please, read about both of these disorders and reconsider. Do your homework because you won’t get some grateful, loving child who will leap right into your arms and live happily ever after.

Please, please read up on both disorders.
Also, the IRS does issue some hefty tax breaks to parents who adopt internationally or through the U.S. foster care system. Foster kids come with a few benefits that international kids won’t have – you will have access to diagnostic services, a monthly stipend (which will help if you have a special child), medical care, and tons of resources.

If you are doing this for humanitarian reasons, consider adopting a U.S. foster child.

There are groups on yahoo for international Adoptions if you will search in yahoo groups – they give wonderful advice.

more info on RAD

www.littleprince.org
www.radkid.org
www.fascets.org
www.olderchildadoption.com
www.attachmentdisorder.net

I commend you for wanting to do this, but please – take of the rose-colored glasses and media blinders. Do it, but prepare yourself.