Momologue! - Open Adoption, Foster Adoption, Parenting and more!

Adoption Search

June 30, 2010

Who can help search for my daughter who I gave in adoption when I was 16?

Where would I start looking? Her name is marie michelle and her birthday is on Jan 22 1989

does she know she was adopted do you know? could you really enter her life now and tell her? as much as you love her and want to see her if you truly love her and gave her up for the best dont you want to still do the best for her? is coming into her life the best thing you can do for her?

if your state or provinse has a registry register if she is looking for you you will find each other if not my advice ( I know you dont have to take it and prolly dont like it ) is too mov eon

International Adoption

How long should it take for an international adoption to be completed?


Hi Jersey

This is from direct experience when we adopted our daughter from Colombia.

We started the U.S. part of the paperwork in late August and had our permit to adopt one child under age 16 and bring her into the US as a citizen in early December. In all, that was about 3 1/2 months. State and local government people were uniformly fast, efficient, and helpful. The Immigration people were difficult and early on we got our US Representative to assist.

Our adoption agency [World Child International Adoptions] sent the package of information to Colombia for official translation and the adoption package was delivered to the Colombian government on January 16. Colombian government shuts down from about Dec 15 to January 16 each year.

We were "matched" within two weeks with our soon-to-be child. It took about a week to get the Colombian visas. We flew to Bogota, went through a 10 day integration period, then it went to court – about 2 1/2 more weeks for the court procedures.

Our total time in Colombia was about 6 weeks, including all the running around after the Colombian part of the Adoption
getting a new birth certificate, new Colombian passport, US-approved physical for our child, US visa then on home.

We have friends who started their adoption paperwork in late July and had their daughter home with them from Colombia in early December. Total time for them was under 5 months.
They also had to get their US Representative involved to track down their application to bring the girl into the US.

I’ve heard many horror stories about adoptions from other countries but can assure you that our experience with Colombia was excellent – the worst part was battling the US Citizenship and Immigration Services people.

Our daughter has been with us almost two years now and the transition has been mostly smooth.

Feel free to email me if I can answer any questions.

Good Parenting

Teens dont you think this is a good parenting skill?

IF I had a son I teach him to get all the girls he wants and bring them on home (teach him how to be a man)

If I HAD A GIRL i would teach her to stay away from boys until she is 21 that way she will be safe

AM I RIGHT?

so basically you want to teach your hypothetical son to be the type of guy that your hypothetical daughter to stay away from? hmm..

Open Adoption Agencies

June 28, 2010

open adoption lies?

why are so many young girls talked into Open Adoption by the social workers when they know full well that the people who are adopting the child will probably close the adoption when it becomes final why are they lied to why are these young girl hurt why do social workers lie it can’t all be about
the money that they make don’t these people have a heart or a conscience and social workers are not the only one that do this to unsuspecting young girl the adoption agency’s will do anything in their
power to get that baby no matter what they have to do or say and they will never tell the mother of the life long affect of what losing a child does to the mother and child

I don’t believe they are aware that there’s a strong possibility that the adoption might close.

Often these aren’t social workers anymore either – so many adoptions these days are private and the mothers don’ t even get any kind of counseling to make them aware of the long term affects. Adopters sometimes get attorneys who are the ones who now benefit financially and of course they’re not going to try to scare off the manufacturer of the product – (mother)

I’m not defending open Adoption or any adoption, but I have met lots of young mothers who do try to educate themselves and still choose open adoption. For many years I co-facilitated adoption support groups. We always had a few agencies that suggested that the pregnant young women come to our meetings and speak to first mothers to hear about our experience before making a decision to place their child. Every single mother and some of the adoptees always told them "don’t do it you will regret" – but, some changed their minds and some didn’t.

And by the way, they don’t ALL close. That’s why even though I am opposed, I do believe in a woman’s right to choose and if she makes a conscious choice to place a child for adoption; that has to be respected.

Adoption Agencies

Does adoption agencies tell the natural mother how society feels about natural mothers?

Or do agencies only feed the natural mother how she is selfless and doing a great thing?

Do agencies counsel about how a relinquishing mother will feel?

What does an agency counsel these women on?

What goes through a natural mothers head? Pity for the adoptive parents? Scared of responsibility? Pressure?

Why would anybody want to pressure a woman to relinquish?

Agencies only feed the natural mother how she is selfless and doing a great thing. Yup. They also tell her she will "forget" about her child, and that she is doing the best thing for her baby.
http://www.exiledmothers.com/Adoption_facts/adoption_coercion.html

Agencies would NEVER tell a first Mom what she and her child will go through. If they did, NO woman would EVER relinquish a child again.

An agency who gives "counsel" to a first Mom is like a child sex offender having a sleep over for boy scouts. It’s predatory, and immoral, plain and simple.

Confusion goes through a Mother’s head. When there is coercion going on such as pre-birth matching or "counseling" from the agency, it makes her even more confused, and more pressured to do what OTHERS think is the best for her.

Why would anybody want to pressure a woman to relinquish? Umm, cash. Plain and simple. Adoption is a billion dollar a year industry. Newborns= mass amounts of money.

***ETA*** for Mandy.
You wrote: "I gave the gift of a child to a wonderful, loving couple who were unable to conceive a child of their own. I knew that when my child was born, I would not be able to give him the life he deserved. I also knew that my decision held very difficult consequences that I would have to work through on my own. It was not the responsibility of the adoption agency to counsel me"
Wow. As an adoptee, I believe I deserved my Mother. I didn’t want "things", I wanted HER. Yes, there are "consequences" you would have to work out through your own, but what about your child? How disrespectful.

"Adoption is different now than it was twenty years ago. Perspective adoptive families are subject to much more now than years ago". Are you KIDDING me??? Babies go to the highest bidder. Period.

"I felt no pity for anyone." It looks to me like you did. Saying things like, "I gave the gift of a child to a wonderful, loving couple who were unable to conceive a child of their own." EXCUSE ME??? Adoptees are NOT gifts. We are human beings who are hurt from the premature disruption of the mother- child bond. "Gift" is a perfect example of an agency line, one they use to coerce.

"And the decision to place my baby in the hands of a more able family was all my own. Adoption can be a wonderful thing and any woman who is strong enough to give their child a chance at a better life should be commended."

"More able family???" Another example of buying into the agency lies. If you were not a drug user, and you did not abuse your son, NO one is more "able" or "deserving" to raise him than you.

My heart breaks when I read stuff like this. You really have NO clue, do you? Adoption does NOT always give a child a better life, only a different one.

Please get some help. Your son WILL want to know you some day, and not just through letters and pictures sent through his adoptive parents. You’ll hurt him if you call him a gift.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QOZGwqHVnKs
http://www.exiledmothers.com/adoption_facts/adoption_coercion.html
http://www.nancyverrier.com/pos.php
http://www.adoptioncrossroads.org
http://www.amfor.net/acs
http://www.origins-usa.org
http://www.babyscoopera.com
http://www.keepyourbaby.com/the_primal_w…
http://www.thegirlswhowentaway.com/

Adoption Search

Background search from adoption?

I am 13 years old and adopted. How can I figure out what my background is? My parents don’t know….
OMG you guys are dumb! I don’t need a freaking birth certificate! She could be chinese but still be born in Canada! Place of birth has nothing to do with it!

You can try the state…it is a start. If your birth parents want to be found they may be on Adoption.com.

International Adoption

What are your views on interracial/international adoption?

as in white people adopting black babies, asian babies, etc. Black people adopting white babies, Asian babies, etc. A person of one nationality adopting someone of another nationality, etc.
Well do you worry at all about the complications of taking someone out of their their racial/national heritage or culture or community?
And it’s not even completely a color issue, though that would be where more significant and visual issues would arise. What about an American person/couple adopting a Swedish child. There is potentially a different heritage/background and how would that affect?

Race matters, language matters and culture matters. So I would hope homes would be found that make it easiest on the child. However a home with loving parents is much better than a life growing up without any.

All International adoptive parents should be provided with or required to hire bi-lingual nannies or speak the native language fluently.

Foster Adoption

What’s the difference between foster care and adoption centers?

I’m writing a book and the girl’s father is still alive but ran away when she was six months old and her mom had committed suicide. (teen pregnancy if you must know). Would she be put in foster care or an adoption center? What’s the difference? Nice mature answers only, thank you!
the child is currently 16, mother dead, father missing, lives in Georgia, no family wants the child because she’s weird and quirky. It’s unusual, yes, but that’s what makes the book interesting. Just saying. Thanks for the answers!! :) )

Adoption center is where she’d stay until she gets adopted and placed in a nice home…
Foster care is where she’ll be placed until she’s 18.
Most kids by then get kicked out or if lucky kept.
I was kicked out of my placement to which i was in since i was 1 years old. I was 16 when they kicked me out; all because i liked piercings and had schooling issues.

She’ll most likely be placed in foster care. I just hope it’s a nice placement otherwise it can mess you up.
Maybe she can become emancipated. i was when i was 16. More or less she can run her own life.

Open Adoption

June 27, 2010

rpc girls up for adoption (OPEN)

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

1-pending
2-
3-pending
4-
5-taken
6-
7-takentaken
8- gone to sailorminimoon4296
9-gone to sailorminimoon4296

hurry up and get em!

i do not own naruto it belongs to its respected owners. I edited these. i did not draw them I am no way associated with the owner of the song. I do not own

song-everybodys fool
by-evanescense

Duration : 0:2:45

(more…)

Technorati Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Adoption Agencies

June 25, 2010

Does anyone know of adoption agencies in other countries that take american babies?

I live in America and I want to give my baby up for Adoption, but I don’t want it to grow up in America. So far all I can find is information on Americans adopting babies from other countries when I want to do the opposite.

Yes, the U.S. does export babies. Read the article for more information about how a 57 year-old woman adopted an infant from the U.S.

If you’re rich enough, you can buy anything you want, including babies.